Throwback Thursday - College Friendships (A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime)

This month marks 16 years since I started classes at a nearby business school.  I had already attended a community college for one semester and that didn't work out well so I decided to go elsewhere.  My life was in a really bad place back then.  I was doing things I don't even want to think about anymore.  That part of my life is over and done with ... and I'm glad.  Going to business school was a fresh start.  A chance to start over on a clean slate. 

Copied this picture from their website.  Sorry it's blurry.

Little did I know that once I entered those doors my life was going to change and I would receive more than just a business degree.  I would gain friendships that lasted a lifetime (well, a few of them at least).  

Since the school was located in another county I didn't think I'd run into anyone from high school but I did.  One girl.  I won't give her full name so I'll just call her A.  A and I were only acquaintances in high school but once I started at college we became really close and best of friends.  She was very much different from the other people I had hung out with.  She was a Christian and helped me to find a relationship with God.  Eventually we started hanging out with a group of people and in that group was the man I later married.  He was in a relationship with someone else and we were only friends throughout the entire two years of school.  There was also another girl we were close to.  I'll also refrain from using her full name and call her C.  The four of us spent a lot of time together in and out of school.  It was a blast.  

A few years after graduation A decided to move on with her life and didn't include us in it.  Suddenly we were nothing to her.  So much for being best friends, huh?  Even after all of that drama I still am thankful to have had her as a friend during that time and to have someone who introduced me to Christianity.  I miss her but I have learned that people enter our lives for a reason and sometimes it's not meant to last forever.  

C is still very much a big part of our lives.  We have seen her through a horrible relationship, having a child, meeting a new and wonderful man, marrying that man and having two more children.  She's the one I know I can count on and I've always been there for her.  We've shared some great times.  Of course because she's busy with working a full-time job and taking care of a family of 5 we don't get the chance to see much of each other ... but I know she's the friendship that will last a lifetime.  

Then of course, there's my husband Rob.  At some point after graduation we spent a lot of time together and decided that we wanted to be more than just friends.  We became an official couple and then Mr & Mrs in the spring of 2002.  

C actually introduced me to this poem years ago and it's really helped me to understand why some people leave our lives while others stay:

A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

I'm thankful for all of my friendships, even the people who never stuck around.  I don't completely blame A for what she did.  I know I played a part in her decision to not be friends with me.  If I could go back and do things differently I would; however, I realize that no matter what I would have done or what I would have said she wasn't willing to try and make our friendship work ... and that's not a friend I want to have.  A true friendship is worth fighting for after all, isn't it?

I often think about those two years spent in business school.  They were great times.  I was getting my education and finally figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I had a fun part-time job in a Hallmark store and had lots of fun with these friends.  It was a time when life seemed carefree and amazing.  Rob and C must think I'm crazy whenever I say I miss those days but I do.  

I love how life turned out.  I really do.  But some days I wish I could go back to 1998, even for just a little bit.