As soon as my husband and I discussed the idea of starting a family he said, "I will try and do what I can to make sure you stay home with them." He was very adamant about it. I was delighted that my husband was willing to allow me to do such a thing; however, it didn't seem realistic at the time. We had recently purchased a house and aside from the mortgage had a tremendous amount of bills piling up. How were we going to make this work on one income?
Willingly and inarguably my husband, who was already a full-time accountant, picked up a second job. I hated the fact that he had so much financial pressure built on him but it was solely his decision and he didn't want it any other way. Then in 2007 our first blessing came into the world. It didn't make sense for me to return to work after my maternity leave had ended. Most, if not all, of my salary would have ended up going to daycare or a private babysitter. It just didn't make sense to return to the job. So I quit and became a stay-at-home mom.
I will confess this has been a hard transition for me. I was so used to rushing out the door in the morning and spent 8 hours a day surrounded by adults, paperwork and lots of gossip (I hate gossip so leaving that behind was pretty spectacular). My life became excessive diaper changes, feedings and trying to calm down a fussy baby, with no breaks. I had little time to myself and no adult interaction. It was often frustrating but I knew for my son, and now daughter too, it's beneficial and the best thing I can offer them at this time.
In order to make being a SAHM (the acronym for Stay-At-Home Mom) work we've had to make a lot of sacrifices. Neither of us own a Smart phone, a brand new car and only eat out occasionally. We clip coupons and try to buy items only if they are on sale. I use cloth diapers on my daughter, not consistently but every time we are at home. Not having to run out and buy disposable diapers all the time saves us a huge load of money. Materialistic things aren't of importance to neither me or my husband. If we can live without it then we don't need it.
Even though we've had to make plenty of sacrifices in order to make our one-income lifestyle work it's been extremely worth it. I enjoy being my children's caregiver 24/7. I have experienced every milestone, kissed every boo boo, and wiped every teary eye so far. It has been a joy being able to stay with them each and every day but we do experience those bad days. Admittedly, a bad day at home is better than a horrible day in an outside job. Yes, it does get monotonous and mundane at times but it's been such an awarding experience for me and my children.
Aside from all this, I have nothing but the utmost respect for those working mothers too. I have heard several of my friends say they wish they could stay at home with their children. I admit there are times when I wish I could go to work so I could have that break and also help with the financial end of things. The plan is that once both children are in school full-time I will return to the working world, and possibly sooner if I can find something that won't interfere with my husband's schedule or the time we get to spend as a family. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom or a working mom the choice is yours. Some families need to have that extra income and the mothers have no choice. Some moms, who do have a choice, decide it's better for them to work so they can have that money for leisure or save it for their child's college education (and we all know how expensive college is. Yikes). I admire any mother and the decisions they make.
With that being said, there are also a lot of misconceptions about stay-at-home mothers as there is with working mothers. Here are a few I find amusing and my response:
We are lazy. We sleep in and then spend all day watching television. I had more of an opportunity to be lazy before I had children. I may take a few minutes throughout the day to check my email, Facebook and blog but most of my day is spent caring for the children and cleaning the house. My daughter is awake every morning by 6 am. If I'm lucky she'll stay in bed until 6:30 am. That's not what I call sleeping in. From there I'm on my feet doing all I can to make sure my children and the house are taken care of. When the television is on it's PBS, Nick Jr. or The Disney Channel. When my kids are napping the TV is turned off because by that point I'm sick of seeing it. The only TV viewing I watch is in the evening with my husband once the kids are tucked into bed. That's my relaxation time but by then I'm too tired to enjoy it.
The house must be spotless since we're always home. The house is never spotless because it's always lived in. I can spend a lot of time during the day cleaning but by the end of the day it looks like I haven't touched a thing. I have yet to find a way to maintain a clean home while making sure all the kids needs are met. In the meantime, it often looks like a tornado blew through here.
Only rich people can be stay-at-home mothers. No, as I've stated before, we sacrifice.
We don't do anything important. I guess raising our children isn't important? I spend the day teaching my children everything that is essential in order to make it into the real world independently someday. Of course a working mother does that too but this is something that is solely left up to me without help from others.
Without being in daycare the children will not have social skills. This is about as dumb as when I hear people say kids who are home schooled don't get social skills either. Even though we are at home with our children there are plenty of ways and opportunities to give our children the socializing they need whether it be with play groups, preschool or some type of sports program. It's up to the parents to decide when and if the children get to interact with others and how much they get to do so.
I have been enjoying my time with my children immensely. I see how quickly they are both growing up. In a few months our son Matthew will begin preschool and our daughter Brianna will be celebrating her first birthday. There will be a time when they are in school and then off on their own as adults and I want to be able to look back on this time and know I did the right thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment