I Married My Best Friend

One day during college in the student lounge I noticed a friend was reading a book titled I KISSED DATING GOODBYE by Joshua Harris.  I laughed at the silly thought of not dating. I asked her questions about the book and quickly grew curious.  I decided to buy a copy and read it myself.  To my surprise the book was fascinating.   Joshua Harris was only 21 when he wrote the book.  He was a Christian who was devoted to living his life for God.  At the time I was 19 and had already dated here and there.  Of course, any time I told anyone else about the book they gave me the same look I had given my friend.  Give up dating?  Why would I do that?  Why would anyone do that?  Dating is fun.  How are you going to get to know someone if you don't date them? 

This book doesn't imply that dating is sinful and shouldn't be done but Mr. Harris explains a better way to approach relationships - by being friends first.  Choosing to quit dating doesn't mean giving up on relationships and marriage.  It means putting friendship first and getting to know each other as friends before anything else. 

"Dating has a tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly," Joshua Harris wrote in this book.  He also added, "Intimacy without commitment is defrauding.  Intimacy without friendship is superficial.  A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feeling last."

 Even though I read the book and found it very interesting I still wasn't sure if I was ready to give up dating quite yet.  However, even as young as I was, I was growing tired of dating.  Tired of getting to know someone only to find he wasn't the one.  Tired of rejection.  Tired of being hurt.  Just tired, tired, tired.  Then something happened.  I fell in love ... with someone who had been my friend for a few years. 

We met in college and slowly got to know each other as friends.  It was nice having a friend that was a guy.  For awhile we were both in relationships with other people and taking our friendship to the next level was nothing we considered at the time.  At least I never considered it.  He was a very sweet guy and also quite funny.  Definitely not like any other guy I have ever known.  He made me laugh and always put me in a better mood.  I always had a good time whenever he was around.  I was very comfortable around him too and knew I could be myself without any judgement or worry that he would think less of me.  Dating and getting to know someone on a romantic level can be quite intimidating and awkward.  Sometimes we shy away from showing them who we really are because of fear they will get turned off by us.  At least, that's how it was for me.  My personality with my boyfriends was very different from how I was with my friends.  With my friends I never had felt pressure to try and impress.  I was always just myself.  That's exactly how I was with Rob.  Myself.  Very comfortable, silly, outgoing and quite obnoxious too.  But no matter how I acted he always smiled at me and laughed with me.  We joked around and understood each others quirkiness.  It was nice having a friend like that; a male friend, I should say. 

As the months passed he and I grew closer and closer together.  We spent a lot of time together.  I looked forward to every day I was able to see him.  Then inch by inch those feelings I had for him grew stronger and deeper.  He had feelings for me a lot sooner than I did for him.  It took me some time.  But I knew I loved him.  At 21 years old I fell in love with a man who had already been such a good friend to me and two years after that we were husband and wife. 

Through our marriage we made the agreement that even though we were husband and wife we would always put our friendship first.  I know there are people who disagree with me but I do feel it's important to make your spouse your best friend.  How could he not be my best friend?  We sleep in the same bed.  We share the same house.  We're raising the same kids.  We go on vacations together and spend many hours together.  We live for the sake of each others happiness.  I do have other friends that I hang out with and talk to and consider to be very close with but the relationship I have with my husband is something totally different.  He truly is my best friend. 

Also the benefit of being friends first was that we had so much time to get to know each other without all the romance and trying to impress one another.  I knew so much about him before the intimacy between us started.  That made a huge difference once we did decide to become a couple.  It really made things better. 

This month my husband and I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage.  I'm sure there were plenty of people who had doubt that we would last this long.  Some tried to talk us out of it when we decided to get engaged.  Yet we didn't listen to the others and here we are 13 happy years and 2 kids later.  I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Happy Homemaker Monday - 5/4/15

Here we are!  Another week.  Sandra changed this up a bit this week, which is totally fine with me.  The only issue is I don't have a menu planned for this week.  Gotta work on that.  I also left a few out that I didn't have answers for.  I'll get better ... I promise.  Anyway ...

The weather in my neck of the woods::
It is BEAUTIFUL!  It's as if summer has arrived early.  I LOVE IT!  

  
Things that make me happy::
(See above)  The warm weather and sunshine.  Again I say, I LOVE IT!

Menu for this week::
Oh gosh, I don't have a clue.  I don't even know what I'm making today.  I'll decide soon enough though.  

What's on my TV today::
Right now it's The Care Bears.  As you can tell my 3 year old has possession of the television right now.  

Looking around the house::
What a mess!  It seems no matter how hard I try to keep things clean this house never gets clean.  Am I the only one experiencing this?  Ugh!  I feel like I'm on my feet from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and all I do is pick up toys, sweep dirt, pick up more toys, etc., etc, ... and by the end of the night the house is still a mess.  Why?!  

On my to do list::
Laundry, dishes, clean, vacuum, PLAY WITH THE KIDS, and all that's usual in my day to day life. 

New recipe I tried or want to try soon::
This looks good.  Maybe I'll add it to the menu this week -- http://otasteandseeblog.com/parmesan-crusted-chicken-with-bacon/

In the craft basket::
I bought lots of supplies to make jewelry.  Now I need to find the time and patience to get started.  I've tried a few things but it hasn't worked out yet.  Gotta go with another plan.  I'll figure it out and make it work! Jewelry making is a lot harder than you may think. 

Looking forward to this week::
This seems to be a quiet week compared to the rest of the month.  I don't think there is much going on except on Friday my kids and I are going to the movies with my parents to see the new Avengers movie and on Saturday my son has his first official baseball game of the season.  We also can't forget MOTHERS DAY on Sunday.  

Favorite Photo or Picture::

This picture was taken on my phone yesterday during a cub scout picnic.  I took my son and his friend on a hike on the trail.  It was fun but I couldn't keep up with these 7 year olds.  

Lesson learned the passed few days::
The feelings, regrets, emotions and experiences I go through are normal and okay.  I'm not alone. 

On my mind::
Why is it so hard for my daughter to understand what is the right amount of toilet paper to pull off?  I just got finished rolling back up a ton that she pulled down.  I know she'd clog the toilet if I didn't go in the bathroom every time she had to go. 

Devotionals, Scripture Reading::
"You got to learn how to think right before you can live right.  God has got a good plan for your life, but if you don't believe it, God's not going to be able to do it." -- Joyce Meyer

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." -- John 15:7

Happy Homemaker Monday - 4/27/15

I haven't participated in Happy Homemaker Monday so far this year.  Wow!  I always enjoyed doing this but blogging has gotten away from me.  But I'm really excited to start back up and join Diary Of A Stay At Home Mom again. 

So here we go!

The weather outside is::::
54 degrees, a bit chilly and cloudy.  We had some warm weather for awhile but the cool temps and wind came back.  Spring where are you?  Calling for rain later.  

On the breakfast plate this morning::::
I made a choice of cinnamon raisin bagels, mini chocolate donuts, eggs and bacon.  I usually don't cook a big breakfast like that but once in awhile I like to give the boys something special before sending them off to work and school.  My daughter and I also enjoyed some too.  

As I look outside my window::::
The sky is completely covered with white, puffy clouds.  The trees are blowing in the breeze.  The grass is green and freshly mowed.  

Right now I am::::
Moving between writing this up, playing dolls with my daughter and getting housework and laundry done.  Whew!  I needed a moment to sit.  

As I look around the house::::
It's very cluttered around here.  Toys all over.  No matter how I try to keep things tidy and organized it just doesn't last long.  In the corner is a pile of tiles and stuff from the kitchen backsplash.  When my husband is finished the backsplash then our kitchen renovation will be complete ... FINALLY.  

On today's to do list::::
Finish laundry, make stuffed peppers for dinner, housework, clean bird cage, and whatever else needs cleaning, help my son with his homework and play with the kids in between it all.  

Currently reading::::
Nothing lately.  Haven't had the time.  

On the TV today::::
We now have Netflix and Hulu so the kids love watching shows and movies on there.  Right now my daughter has The Incredible Hulk on.  The old tv series with Bill Bixby.  Yes my three year old loves it!  Most of the time when the tv is on it's shows my kids like.  After they are in bed my husband and I usually find something for us to watch but I'm not sure what that will be yet.  A show or movie on Netflix or a baseball game on tv?  You just never know with us!  

On the menu this week::::
Monday - stuffed peppers
Tuesday - hot dogs, tater tots, chili
Wednesday - chicken alfredo and garlic bread
Thursday -
Friday - pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans
Saturday -
Sunday - pizza made by husband

Favorite photo from the camera::::
This is my picture on top now.  I took it a few weeks ago of my tree.  I just love how the picture came out.

Prayers, Inspirational Quotes or Devotionals::::
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God" -- Ephesians 2:8

In Bloom

I especially love this time of year.  The weather is getting warmer, the birds are chirping and flying everywhere, the flowers have bloomed.  Beautiful!  I have these two trees in my front yard that have these white flowers.  They bloom twice a year and unfortunately the flowers don't last long.  When I see these flowers appear I know it's a sign that the better months are near.  I'm so excited for it.  Warm weather, barbecues, picnics, visits to the playgrounds, trips to our favorite amusement park, swimming in the pool, etc. 

The windows in my house are open allowing the mild breeze to bring in some fresh air.  It feels good.  It smells good.  I love it!  I'm looking forward to what's to come ...

Easter Is ...

To me Easter is so much more than dying eggs, hunting eggs, seeing the Easter Bunny and getting a visit from him on that Sunday morning and spending time with family ... however; those are the things we do each year to make it fun and exciting.

To me Easter is about the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  It is when Jesus died for our sins.  He did it because he loved us that much.  "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13.  It's just so amazing to think about.  Jesus was beaten and hung on a cross for our transgressions.  He did all of this for me ... for you ... for everyone.  Yet, are we giving enough back to Him?  I often wonder if I'm doing enough to show my appreciation.  

So on to talking about our Easter.  It was a good one.  The day before my husband took the kids to an egg hunt at our local community center.  I had a doctor appointment and couldn't attend.  Then our neighbors invited the kids to a little egg hunt they set up in their own backyard.  We also dyed eggs that day too ... our tradition, of course.  The next day was Easter.  We went to my father-in-law's church.  We regularly attend a different church but my father-in-law invited us along to his service.  My kids are used to going to Sunday School during the service at our church where they can run around and play.  So having to sit still for the entire hour was a challenge, especially for the three year old.  Once she spotted where the toy room was it was all over for her.  That's where she wanted to be.  After the service they had an egg hunt set up.  The kids had fun.  Then we headed home for lunch and then went to my parents' house where my oldest sister and her family were visiting.  We all had a ham dinner prepared by my sister.  I brought along dessert.  It was a great day spent with loved ones.

But we never fail to teach our kids the reason why we celebrate Easter.

Matthew 28:1-10
After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."
So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

Friday Favorites - "My Redeemer Lives"

In an effort to keep this blog going I decided to come up with some random things to write about each week/month.  I've been pondering some ideas and here is one of them.  It's called Friday Favorites.  Every Friday I will post a topic about something I like; whether it be a recipe for a favorite meal, a special keepsake, and well, anything I'd consider a "favorite."

Since it's Good Friday and Easter is in a few days I thought it would be perfect to start with a song that is perfect for this holiday. 

My Redeemer Lives

                by Nicole C Mullens

Who taught the sun
Where to stand in the morning
And who taught the ocean
You can only come this far
And who showed the moon
Where to hide till evening
Whose words alone can
Catch a falling star

Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives
Yeah

The very same God
That spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary
The worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands
That hold me when I'm broken
They conquer death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer

He lives to take away my shame
And He lives forever I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive and there's an empty grave

And I know my Redeemer, He lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry

I know my Redeemer
I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
I know that, I know that, I know that, I know that, I know
I know my Redeemer lives
(Because He lives I can face tomorrow)
He lives, I know, I know, I know.
He lives
(I spoke with Him this morning.)

He lives.
(The tomb is empty)
He lives.
(I'm gotta tell everybody)

It's April!

That's it, I'm quitting this blog!  Ha.  APRIL FOOL'S!  Although, I'm not sure if many people even read this ... but I don't care ... I enjoy writing.  Always have.  So no, I'm not quitting.  And yes, today is April Fool's Day and while others are playing pranks on each other I'm remembering a very special lady.  My grandmother.  Today would have been her birthday.  She's been gone for six years.  I was always very close to my grandma and I miss her so much.  I want so badly to hear her voice again.  Pain doesn't go away with time, but it gets easier.  Just a tad bit easier. 

Now that we're in a new month I thought I'd do something new.  I may do this once a week or just once a month.  Not sure yet.  I'll start by making it up as I go along.  If you'd like to join in go ahead but let me know so I can read yours too. 

Currently ... Sitting on the couch with the laptop on my lap as I type this up.  My daughter is napping, my son is in school and my husband is at work.  The house is so quiet. 

The weather ... is a beautiful sunny 51 degrees.  Love it!

Looking Forward To ... Celebrating the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior in a few days.  Getting new countertop in the kitchen tomorrow.  Possibly taking the kids to Disney on Ice in a few weeks. 

Excited ... That spring weather has finally arrived. 

On the to-do list ... finish laundry, fold, put it away. 

Bible Verse ... "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" -- Philippians 4:13

Favorite Picture ...