"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future" -- John F Kennedy
Change is a big part of life; it's inevitable. Change is something we all face throughout our lives whether it be big or small, good or bad, happy or sad, etc. It can be used to help us grow and learn. What would life be like if we all stayed the same? Boring! But why does change have to be so hard?
I remember the first time change hit me really hard was when I was thirteen years old. I had lived with my parents and sister (my other sister and brother were married and out of the house by then) in the same house I had lived in since being brought home from the hospital after my birth. I was in a house, a town, a state that had all been very familiar to me. It was my first year in junior high and I was finally allowed to wear make-up and go to the mall or movies with my friends WITHOUT adult supervision. These were awesome changes that had me feeling like I was finally growing up and becoming someone. Life wasn't perfect but I was happy with it.
I had always pictured myself living in the same house until I was an adult and ready to make the choice on my own to move out. I envisioned visiting my parents at that same house with my husband and kids. The idea of moving never occurred to me. Until my dad brought it up one day during dinner. I remember the conversation well. He and my mother decided to put the house up for sale and move to a cheaper place. New York was too expensive and blah, blah, blah. We had to go. So the house went up for sale and was sold by the first family that came to look at it. Everything happened so fast. Now, when my dad said he wanted to move somewhere cheaper it didn't end up being in another house ... it ended up being in another state. Pennsylvania. By summer our house was sold and we packed our things and headed to the Keystone State. Unfamiliar territory for me. I started 8th grade in a new state, a new school and surrounded by new people. Big change. The kind of change I had a hard time adjusting to, even many years later.
I realize that if I had not moved to Pennsylvania I would have missed out on a lot of opportunities I've had here. I wouldn't have met the people who became my friends and I certainly wouldn't have met my husband or had my two wonderful children. I really can't see life without them now that they are here. I know change can bring on a lot of wonderful and positive things, but letting go of once was is pretty hard.
Another time when change hit me hard was after graduating from college. I spent two years in business school and was surrounded by great friends (story here) and good times. I didn't realize just how much that time meant to me until one day years later when I was sitting at my desk in an office job. I looked around at the desk, the phone, the computer and all that surrounded me. I thought about how the degree I earned in business school led me to getting that job and then I started thinking back to that time in school ... and I missed it. I missed it so much that it hurt. I wished to have had a chance to go back to that time and relive it. You know, I always said how cool it would be if life came with a remote control that we could rewind back to good times and fast forward through the bad times. Yeah, like that would work out well, right? Wake up Dawn. Change happens whether I like it or not.
Change is what helps us live, grow and learn. It's not going to stop. Even though I do often think back to certain times in my life and wish I could relive some moments I do feel blessed to have all that exists now. My husband, my two children, a house, thirty-five years of great health, new people who have come into my life and became good friends, old friends who are still here for me, other old friends who I realized weren't friends at all. You get it.
As hard as it was I had to learn to embrace all of the changes I ever had to face. Although some were hard, it's all been good. It's all led me to this very moment. I can say I feel very blessed with how my life has turned out. I've learned how to cope with change by looking at all the positives instead of the negatives. I try to look at all the benefits that all the change I've gone through has to offer. I've also learned to accept this as a part of life that is out of my control. I've learned to let go of the many changes that took place in my life that has caused me to feel depressed over the years. It wasn't a simple thing to do but I did it.
However, I'm now faced with a new type of change and it's quite a challenge for me. This is the change of watching my children grow and trying to accept the fact that neither of them are no longer babies and will just keep growing and growing. I'm sure it's a hard thing for any parent to watch her/his children grow and know that the years of being little won't always exist. It's a sad revelation but this too is also a good thing.
It's bittersweet.
If you're a new parent who is dealing with the pros and cons of having a newborn I want to let you know that the saying they grow up fast is definitely true. So during those sleepless nights when that baby is refusing to sleep or is crying and begging to be comforted by you ... embrace it all. It doesn't last. I look at this picture of my three year old son holding his newborn baby sister and I'd give anything to have that very moment back. But I can't. They are growing and life is moving forward. There is no stopping time or slowing it down. All we can do is enjoy every moment as it is given to us, hold on to the memories and prepare for the future.
