The Busy Season

The picture is blurry.  It was taken indoors, with movement, and on a cell phone.  But I still love it.  My husband took this picture and texted it to me.  My son is the one with the ball.  I heard he did pretty good during tryouts.  I can't wait to watch him playing in the games.  Basketball is a new sport for our boy but I know he's going to do well and I'm already proud.  This boy has been playing baseball since the age of 5 and wants to continue playing in hopes to make it on a college team.  He also plays trumpet for the third year but I'm not sure if that's something he'll stick with once he reaches high school.  He completed cub scouts and is now in his first year with the boy scouts.  This active boy doesn't do well with just sitting still.  He'll ask to play video games but usually isn't on longer than fifteen minutes.  He'll turn on a television show and glance at it for about five minutes before going outside to play.  He wakes up with the energy and sometimes I have to plead with him to calm down.  In school he's quiet and not active at all but when he's home he's all over the place.  I shouldn't be mad about it knowing that there are a lot of boys who constantly sit around playing video games and watching television.  Seeing my kids active and not lazy is important and I'm glad it comes naturally for him. 

During the school year our weeks are crazy.  If there's homework they need to do it as soon as they get home but usually they either don't have homework or have the chance to do it in school.  They come in the door and grab a snack and are usually outside to meet with friends.  I prepare dinner early so we can eat before having to run the kids to wherever it is they need to be that day.  Monday is tap, Tuesday is scouts, Friday is praise and ballet.  Lately there have been basketball open gym and tryouts thrown in there and soon practice and games will start.  Then in the spring comes baseball.  There is nothing on schedule tonight so I'm looking forward to some rest with the family.  The schedule for this weekend is already packed with plans.  I love the busyness from this season of life and am soaking it all in because someday the kids will be grown and all of this rushing from here to there will be over.  I know I'll miss it. 

In the daytime while my husband is at work and the kids are in school I spend the day cleaning, grocery shopping, and spending three hours at my job in the cafeteria.  I feel rushed trying to get it all done and sometimes I feel anxiety when thinking of all that needs done.  This morning I felt a panic attack starting.  So, that's why I decided to take a break, do some deep breathing and just focus on something else for a moment.  The stuff that needs done will get done.  I have to stop worrying.  I really do enjoy the life that I live and the responsibilities I have.  It just feels disappointing when I spend so much time cleaning but then look around and notice that so much more needs done.  My kids are old enough to take care of their own messes and they do but it still doesn't feel like enough.  This too will be something that will change over time.  The dust will always come back, the floors will always need vacuumed, the dishes and laundry will always need washed ... but all of these toys will one day be gone.  The house will one day look more empty.  So I need to learn to enjoy the chaos because someday it's going to be different. 

I feel guilty when I stop to write in this blog, or when I take the dog for a walk around the neighborhood, or take a moment to read or exercise.  But those are things that are important for my mental and physical health.  We all need some me time, even during the busy season.