You Can't Always Get What You Want

You win some.  You lose some.  That’s one of those life lessons I’ve been teaching my kids.
We just finished a very important and crucial election and some people aren’t handling the results very well.  There are protests riots in many cities.  College students needed to take some time off to “grieve.”  I’m pretty sure there are plenty of adults who took some time off of work as well.  If you voted for Hillary Clinton I can understand why you would be upset.  Losing is hard.  It’s terrible.  But … it’s part of life.  I believe that many of these millennials aren’t properly taught how to handle losing and it’s unfortunate.

I wanted to start teaching my kids at a very young age that losing is something that’s going to happen from time to time.  In an election.  In sports.  In anything.  Losing is sometimes inevitable.  In an election or in a sports game only one person/team is going to win.  There’s a chance the one you were routing for isn’t going to be the winner.  Knowing the person you voted for or the team you were cheering on lost can be very upsetting and even devastating but it’s unavoidable.  It is what it is.  Although, being defeated can be good because it teaches us to try harder for the next time.

I remember when youth sports teams started handing out trophies to everyone just for participating.  My son has a few from baseball.  If everyone is given a trophy it teaches kids they have nothing to work for.  If you are going to get rewarded, even for not doing the best, then what’s the point of trying?  You showed up and played the game, that’s good enough.  That is just a small part of why I believe young adults are now feeling so entitled.

As a parent, I feel it’s my duty to teach my kids how to be responsible and why it’s important to work hard in everything they do.  I’m not going to do things for them that I know they can do for themselves.  If they fail I may help them learn how to be better but I certainly do expect them to try harder and aim to succeed.

When my son started playing baseball he wasn’t very good.  That’s the truth.  Every year he gets better because he’s determined to keep trying.  The last season was his best and I’m so proud of how far he has come.  He loves the sport and is willing to try.  Sometimes the team has lost games and sometimes they won.  The coaches felt it wasn’t appropriate to keep score but these kids so desperately wanted to know.  At the end of each game they would ask my husband, the assistant coach, “what was the score?  Did we win?”  They wanted to know.  They had every right to know.  But these days, the children are taught it doesn’t matter if you won or lost.  Actually, yes, it does matter.  My husband always kept score and he told my son after the game.  Some days my son cheered for their victory and other times he was disappointed in the defeat.  Knowing when they lost and knowing what was done wrong gave him the knowledge and momentum to do better in the next game.  These kids need to know when they lose.  They need to learn how to try harder and be better.  They also need to know you don’t always get what you want.

As I was driving my daughter to her dance class last night the song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones came on and I would love if these rioters and college students could hear the lyrics.  No, you can’t always get what you want so instead of crying and sulking and feeling sorry for yourself accept what is and try harder.  Admit defeat and move on.  My kids have already learned this lesson.