Treat Others With Kindess

 "Do to others as you would like them to do to you" -- Luke 6:31

That was one of my son's memory verses from Vacation Bible School this summer.  He repeats this verse often, especially to his little sister when she's not so nice to him.  Recently after she had smacked him he said, "Treat others as you would want to be treated so that means if you hit me I have to hit you."

Okay, so he may not completely understand what that verse means entirely but we're working on it ... and no he didn't hit his sister back, I made sure of it.

 

I certainly want my children to understand that in order to receive kindness from others, as well as love, honesty and respect, then they have to give it first.  Even if others aren't so kind to them I would love for them to understand the importance of being kind anyway.  This is something that has been laying on my heart a lot recently.  As I thought about what I want to see in my children something hit me hard.  What I'm asking my children to be is something I have failed at many times for myself.  Have I always been kind to others?  No.  Have I always shown others respect?  No.  Have I always been honest?  Certainly not.   So how can I expect my children to be what I haven't been?  What kind of example have I been setting for them?  

I do not believe in the do as I say and not as I do approach to parenting.  I believe that children will become a reflection of how they were raised.  Give a kid junk food all the time and lots of television watching and that's the life they grow accustomed to.  Give them healthy food and make sure they are active and that's how they will grow up to be.  Talk badly about others and show disrespect and that's how they will treat others.  Show them kindness and love throughout everything and they will learn to be the same.  Hillary Clinton once said, "It takes a village to raise a child."  I certainly disagree.  It takes parenting ... proper parenting.  Yes, the people who our children grow up with or spend time with will have a huge influence on their lives but it starts at home and how we handle every situation our children are faced with is what matters the most.  

Last week after getting my son and his neighbor friend off of the school bus I sat on the front step with them and we started talking about different things.  We watched as the new girl in our neighborhood also got off the bus and walked to her house.  I haven't met the parents of this new girl yet but I had already spoken to her.  She's a second grader and the family moved here from another state.  The girl is shy and doesn't say very much, at least not to us.  Our friend had said, "I think she has a problem with herself."  I asked what he meant and he said, "You know, I think she has a problem with herself."  My son was watching and listening so I made sure I used this moment as a great opportunity to teach kindness to the both of them.  I responded by saying, "Well, she just moved here from another state and she's probably scared and lonely and I noticed she's shy.  So the best thing we can do is to be nice to her and let her know she is welcomed into our neighborhood.  Let's be a friend to her."  

Again, he said, "I think she has a problem with herself."  

I couldn't seem to change his point of view but I made sure I handled the situation as best as I could and I wanted my son, especially, to learn that being a friend to someone is the best thing we can do.  Throughout or conversation my son seemed to be listening, understanding and nodding his head.  At least I'm getting through to him.  

As I mentioned I certainly haven't been living up to being the kindest person in the world.  In fact, I am known to be pretty outspoken but in a not-so-friendly kind of way.  I've never been one to keep opinions to myself and unfortunately I am not one to speak so nicely at times.  I'm working on it.  I see who I am and know what I need to be.  I know the changes I need to make for myself and not just for myself but for my children.  They are watching and learning.  Showing kindness and love to others is also the best way we can be as Christians and it's exactly how God wants us to be.

Just yesterday I was watching Joyce Meyer and she talked about the topic of being kind towards others.  It was hard for me to listen since my three year old was playing and being loud but the bits and pieces I caught really spoke to my heart and made so much sense.  She said we always need to show kindness towards others and even when we are correcting them we need to do it nicely.  Recently my niece was talking about something that irritated me but instead of biting my tongue or correcting her gently I was abrupt and rude.  My comments left her and my sister feeling hurt.  I wasn't kind at all and even if I believed my viewpoints were true I should have worded myself better and shown more compassion and kindness.  I've since apologized and am working on making sure I handle each and every situation more kindly and appropriately.  I thank God for always giving me these lessons that help me grow wiser.  I just wish I hadn't hurt anyone in the process.  

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." --Proverbs 15:1