Busy Season

May is probably our busiest month of the year.  Lots of birthdays to celebrate, including my husband's, and our wedding anniversary.  My son's baseball games, an upcoming band concert and his cub scout Blue & God banquet.  This year's banquet was very special because after 5 years of hard work he bridged over to Boy Scouts. 

When I signed him up for cub scouts they were desperately seeking den leaders and asked my husband if he was interested.  So, he took on the role as one of the leaders.  After a few years the pack had closed so they moved to another pack.  The scouts has given our son so many amazing experiences and opportunities.  He mentioned how he didn't want to move to the Boy Scouts and my husband really wanted him to so I told him to at least give it one year.  I'm so proud of him and all he's accomplished so far.  He really does work hard. 

It was important for me to have children who keep busy.  I don't want them sitting around in front of screens all the time.  However, sometimes I feel like we've put them in too much but they seem to be handling it well.  It's my husband and I that tend to go crazy.  All the driving around from one event to another ... but it's really been worth it. 

My daughter's dance recital is in June and she'll be in 3 different dances.  She's got picture day coming up next weekend and soon will have to put in extra rehearsals. 

Yes, it's a busy month. 

The last day of school is May 31st and I'm sort of ready for it.  I'm ready for the break from work.  Listening to loud children and constantly wiping up their messes in the cafeteria can get to be too much.  However, I'm not ready to see my children move up to another grade.  I'm not ready for them to grow up anymore.  We can all use the break, though. 

The summer schedule is already filling up.  My son will have two weeks of band camp and one week of scout camp.  I have two surgeries scheduled for my skin cancer.  Hopefully we can find plenty of fun times and hopefully plenty of relaxing. 

Because of my surgeries and having so much to do I decided to hold off on gardening this year.  The less I have to keep up with the better.  I'm hoping that what has been our gardening area can be turned into a nice patio. I'm just waiting for my husband to buy the pavers so we can get busy on it. 

Well, that's my latest update. 

Tidying Up

I have the goal to get my home organized and de-cluttered this year.  We just have so much stuff.  I would love to be a minimalist if possible.  I really believe that seeing all this clutter and stuff in my home is a cause of stress for me and if we had less things laying around it would help a lot.  My home has become unorganized chaos. 

I found a show on Netflix called "Tidying Up" and decided to watch it.  The show is about Marie Kondo, a Japanese author and organizing expert who goes into homes teaching families about her "Konmari method" of cleaning.  This show really helped me to discover different tips and tricks for organization. 

Her recommendation is to first go through clothes.  Take all of your clothes and put them on the bed.  Take the time to hold each piece of clothes and if it doesn't bring you joy don't keep it.  If it does give you joy keep it.  I started by going through my closet and managed to get rid of a lot of clothing I didn't like or I hadn't worn in a long time.  My closet looks so much nicer.  Then I went through the drawers.  She taught a way to fold the clothes and how to put them away.  I had always stacked my clothes facing down and on top of each other.  She actually recommends putting clothes away face up.  I love this way because I'm able to see every piece of clothing instead of having to rummage through the shirts to find what I want. 

I did the same for my daughter's drawers.  She always took a shirt out but managed to unfold all other shirts in the process and it's apparently not easy for a 7 year old to know how to refold those clothes.  Now she can see each shirt that's in her drawer and pull out what she wants. 

She then suggests going through books, paper, komono (kitchen, bathroom, garage and miscellaneous), and then sentimental items last.  With each category gather all of the belongings and only keep the things that "spark joy."  She's not pushy with having to get rid of things and respects those things that are sentimental.  For the things that we decide to keep she recommends finding appropriate storage.  I already took her advice on clothing and I will use some of her teachings towards the other items too. 

I'm determined to make my house look more presentable. 

Disconnect

This photo was taken in the spring of 2007 when my husband and I took a trip to the Poconos.  This monkey looks the same way I feel so I thought this was an appropriate picture to show.  Alone, sad, feeling disconnected from the outside.  Yep, that's me.  That's how I feel. 

I'm sure a lot has to do with my depression but it's also so much of everything else that's been going on lately.  I've been looking back on many things I've done and decisions I made and am feeling the regret of every single one of them.  I'm just not happy with who I am and I'm not happy with the direction my life went.  Who I am is all because of the decisions I've made.  I'm not blaming God.  I'm not blaming anyone else.  Just me. 

I was an unhappy child who had hopes that my adulthood would turn out so much better.  I was going to turn my life around and live this fascinating life.  Nope.  I'm 40 years old, been around for 4 decades, and I have nothing great to show for it ... except my kids, of course.  They are the reason I keep going.

I've been feeling a strong disconnect from my marriage and a lack of desire to work on it.  I spend so much time cleaning up a house that never gets clean, not even slightly decent.  It's a big house but the rooms are small and there is little storage.  Moving to a bigger home isn't financially possible, I guess.  I don't like it here.  But I'm stuck.  I had skin cancer surgery a few months ago and have to wear this ugly scar on my face and then come to find out there are more spots that will need removed as soon as possible.  The cost of having this done is insane, with or without insurance.  My husband tells me it's his job to worry about the finances but yes I worry.  My son is on a baseball team in another town.  All the parents know each other because their kids go to the same school.  I feel like an outsider.  My husband doesn't want him in our own league because that league is terribly run, but I'm not connected to the other parents and my son isn't connected to those other kids.  If my son were to play for his high school then he will end up playing against these kids he's currently with.  He has no connection to them nor is he able to connect with kids from his own school.  It just doesn't feel right.  I sit alone while the other parents talk about some school event all their kids were in or the high school's football game they attended.  I could probably join in and make some sort of conversation with them but that isn't so easy because along with depression comes social anxiety.

I'm hoping this is all just a funk that will pass but I don't know.  I have a long journey ahead with this skin cancer.  The doctor is perplexed and can't figure out what's going on and it's his living to know.  This alone is enough to bring me down but then adds on so much more.   My blog is titled A Little Bit of Sunshine because my intent was to be uplifting and encouraging with it, but I'm in the middle of a dark storm right now.  The sun is currently not shining ... literally and figuratively. 

Our Walt Disney Adventure Ends - Going Home

Friday came by fast and it was time to say goodbye.  We said goodbye to the hotel and to Disney.  Whenever I'm on vacation I always look forward to going home, but this vacation seemed to have flown by too fast.  I also felt sad that the vacation started with cold weather and some frustrating circumstances.  Still, it was an amazing trip and one I don't want to forget.  Before we headed for Disney my husband said this would be the only time we would go but then he said he would love to go back ... someday.

We dropped off our luggage at the front and almost missed the bus that was taking us to the airport.  It was a relief that the driver was willing to wait "5 minutes" for my husband to get back from dropping off our luggage.  The bus showed a video that was saying goodbye to us and hoping we enjoyed our trip.  I felt some tears sliding down my cheek.  I didn't want it to end.  As expensive as the trip was it was the best.

We got to the Orlando airport and headed to DC.  As we were waiting for the next flight I noticed a familiar face and couldn't believe it.  Have you every watched America's Got Talent?  Season 12 winner ventriloquist Darci Lynne Farmer stood with her parents not far from where we were sitting.  She was my daughter's favorite on the show.  If you never had the opportunity to watch Darci Lynne on the show look her up.  She's amazing.  I've never seen a ventriloquist being able to sing opera through a puppet.  Amazing.  When I saw her I mentioned it to the family but I was not sure if it would be right to go up to her.  Sometimes celebrities don't want to be bothered.  My husband took our daughter over and she seemed thrilled to see her little fan and her mother seemed so full of joy over it.

I immediately emailed the picture to my dad and he couldn't believe it.  He's also a fan of her.  That was definitely a pretty cool way to end the vacation.

Somehow we missed the first call to board our plane and rushed when we heard them make the final call.  We made it.  Whew!  However, because of the snow we had to wait for the plane to get deiced.  It was a long wait but finally we took off.  Back into Pennsylvania we were.

We made it home, my husband picked up our dog from the kennel, and we just spent the rest of the day relaxing.  I was exhausted, tried finding the energy to unpack and was just not ready to get back to reality.

We booked our Disney trip through a travel agency called My Mickey Vacation.  Since it was our first trip I wanted to have someone help in case we miss something.  We bought plenty of fast passes, dinner reservations and the photo pass.  It was all worth it.  I hope the opportunity comes again and that we can afford another trip.  It may not be until the kids are teenagers but I'm so eager to go back and experience it again.

I loved being a kid again! Thank you Walt Disney World for the magic!

*Please make sure you go back to catch all 4 days of our trip.
 Day 1 Magic Kingdom
Day 2 Epcot
Day 3 Magic Kingdom 
Day 4 Animal Kingdom

Our Walt Disney Adventure - Day 4 Animal Kingdom

When I was a small child my family took me to Disney World and we were able to see Magic Kingdom and Epcot.  I'm not sure they had Animal Kingdom at that time so this was a first experience for me as well as my husband and our kids.  This park was absolutely spectacular.  We started by a long walk from the entrance to the safari.  We jumped into a truck and took a safari tour to see many live animals.  It was so cool to see.  The kids seemed to really enjoy it.

I had heard so much about the tree at Animal Kingdom, which is equivalent to the castle at Magic Kingdom or the ball in Epcot.  When I told my husband about the tree and how we needed to take some pictures in front of it he thought I was crazy.  "A tree?"  Then he saw what I was talking about.

If you see the tree up close you'll notice a ton of animals carved throughout.  So beautiful.

 Then we walked around and took in the sights.  We saw more live animals and even found a play area for the kids.

And monkeys that were walking right above our heads.

We had a lunch reservation at The Tusker House.  It was a buffet style meal and the food was delicious.  My husband seemed to enjoy the food the most.  It was also a character meal so we were able to see Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, Goofy and Mickey Mouse.

The Tusker House had the most delicious coffee.  I drink coffee but I'm not much for the taste.  This coffee, however, was amazing.  I wanted so badly to just sit there forever and drink it.  But unfortunately I couldn't.

We had a fast pass for the dinosaur ride, which was so cool.  We rode around in a jeep and these animatronic dinosaurs  looked like they were going to jump at us.  It was scary but fun.

We also had a fast pass for Flight of Avatar ride and that was absolutely amazing.  This ride was the last we went on and the best way to end our trip.  It was located in a beautiful place called Pandora.  The scenery and the ride was based off of the movie Avatar.  The ride was a 3d virtual reality ride which made us feel like we were flying around on the back of a dragon.  It started off rough and scary but then suddenly it was absolutely breathtaking.  This ride took away all of my stress and made me feel so relaxed.  I recommend this ride to everyone.  I would even stand in line for 3 hours to ride it again if I could.

Oh, and the weather that day was hot and beautiful.  We were finally able to wear shorts! 

We left Animal Kingdom early that evening and ate dinner at the hotel and my husband watched the kids finally have a chance to swim in the pool while I went to the room to pack up everything. 

Our Walt Disney Adventure - Day 3 Magic Kindgom

It's taking a long time for me to get through writing about our vacation because life gets busy and if I do take some time to sit and write I feel guilty.  But I do like having a place to go to and share all the memories.  With a mother with Alzheimer's who knows what my future will hold.  Plus, it's a place for my kids to look back on too.

Anyway, day 3 in Disney brought beautiful weather FINALLY.  We started the day by eating breakfast at the hotel and then the kids played in the hotel's arcade.  Our schedule at each park was jammed pack with food reservations and fast passes so having a chance to squeeze in fun at the arcade and pool was important for them.  We took the bus to Magic Kingdom and arrived in time for "Move it!  Shake it!" party with some of the famous characters.

Then we spent the day walking around.  We had fast passes for a boat safari and Pirates of the Caribbean.  We also had a chance to pick and choose the rides we wanted to go on.  The lines were long but we got through some of them rather quickly.  The popular rides had a long that could take up to two hours or longer so that's why I would recommend getting as many fast passes as possible.  With all the money you spend on Disney it would be a shame to spend so much of the day just waiting in line after line.

 We also joined the huge crowd to watch the 2pm parade.  This was our chance to see every character.

In the evening we all agreed to head back to the hotel for rest and dinner and then headed back to Magic Kingdom to watch the firework show.

The firework show was amazing.  This was the best firework show any of us have ever seen.  Absolutely breathtaking.